Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Rant time!

I know what you're thinking. Jeez... what have you been doing all this time?

Well... time for derangement. There's something missing from WoW. Something you don't see enough of.

Racism.

I mean really. Playing on a rppvp server (two lies for the price of one, thanks a hell of a lot for doing nothing to keep the rp element real, Blizz...)
I like to introduce a bit of verisimilitude to keep it cute. Mabd is a vicious hater of the most detestable race in the game. The most useless, lazy pointless piece of crap race ever introduced into azeroth (before the Draenei.. but that's ok, radiation poisoning from those idiotic ships will kill em off before Mabd has a chance to get personal...)..

Talkin about trolls.

Talkin bout the race whose racial abilities get changed every three or four damn patches. Talking bout the race whose racial priest spells get redone so often I now have no damn idea what they are. Talking bout the bridge squatting stingy cannibals that intentionally smell like carrion so that troll hunters have a chance of catching at least one pet... carrion eaters.

Really. Is there anything more useless? More idiotic? All right! Below 20% health! Time to...
1. bandage
2. run
3. go berserk and do as much damage as possible before the execute lands!

No REALLY. Blizz had to change it to a pure speed buff that gets more efficient the closer to dead you are.. but that can still be triggered at full health. Its now a poor man's orcish blood rage. Great. Now trolls are even more cheap knock offs of the great and noble race.

What else? Oh yeah, increased health regeneration! Whoo boy. +10%. And then they added that it regens 10% during combat! Whooo! Thats almost 5 health every 5 seconds... at level 70....

But no... the piece de resistance. The cat's meow. +5 skill with throwing weapons! Holy cow, you've done it now! BROKEN RACE!

Oh wait, that was so completely useless that they switched it to bows? Really? So trolls are now legendary bow users? Quick, give em something else... +5% damage against beasts... oh yeah. Thats the trick.

Melvin is a troll. Melvin, the troll mage does nothing but complain about warlocks and shadow priests... "What can I do? I'm always feared!"

Play a real race, Mel. WotF anyone?

"But that heath regen is soo useful! It helps me farm!"

At this point I had to explain why he had the conjure food spell...

Here's my problem. Some races are just uber dominant. Orcs stand alone, because of their story and nobility. From slavery to dominion over a continent! And they have nice racials... all of which my hunter makes use of... blood rage... +250 rap for 10 sec, 2 min cooldown. +5 axes... so that damn wingclip doesn't MISS. +5% pet damage... whoooo baby.

Tauren. Armsandfury still giggles like a girl over warstomp. And +health. And +nature resist, which can be nice. And a herbalism buff, nuttin wrong with that. And in a pinch, if org comes under siege, Thrall will break out the
[A-1 Sauce of Potency]

And orcs will not starve!

As for forsaken, they give me creeps. But don't argue with someone whose breath smells like dead dwarves. Losing proposition.

Blood elves? Bleh. What kinda hunter wears silk in the field? Kinda neat tho... now when we take prisoners, instead of "give em to the trolls to cook" its "give em to the blood elves for... questioning..."

And the forsaken are the ones making the suggestion...

But really. I would love to see trolls redeemed. Here's a suggestion. Give hunters an autofire option for thrown weapons. And THEN... give trolls a +10% crit racial with thrown weapons. AND instead of +5% damage to beasts... make it +3% damage to humanoids. And last... make berserk what the old soul link used to be... a vampiric talent that restores a modicum of life and mana based on damage done. This would make trolls a lot more fun/interesting. And wouldn't you love to see a thrown weapon hunter build? Less damage, but no ammo problems, and they would crit like ninjas....

BTW... races most fun to kill... gnomes. I can watch em die for hours. Plus blood elves. Killin BEs in outland... that animation, one arm reaching up weakly as I loot them... precious.

6 comments:

ArmsandFury said...

Yup, I still giggle like a girl over Warstomp :)

Loved the post :)

Dagashai said...

Hey gimme a call soon... I need advice on the banner, and how to get shots of items...

I wanna put up a lust list.

WyldKard said...

Nice new blog, and I agree about trolls being horrible as far as racials go, at least compared to the other Horde races.

Tom said...

Yeah, us trolls are shafted. But berserking is a godsend in the Prince fight, Phase 2? Enfeeble+berserking then pop rapid fire and if you have a shaman, they possibly used bloodlust.

2.6 speed to nearly 1 second = omgwtfrofl

BRK said...

Linkin' to ya, baby. Visitors incoming. Send us the cleaning bill if they mobs do the ceiling-walking bit or TP the neighbors.

Doyce said...

Sweet earth mother, Grezzk is in love with this orcish hunter-queen. Preach it, sister!