Gentle readers, I must caution you before you read further...Some of what follows will shock you.
Some of it will disgust you.
What's worse, some of it might make you think badly of me.
So be it.
Arms and Fury is no longer around to keep me centered. His computer blew up. And when I mean, blew up... I mean, pining for the fjords. It is an ex-computer. (God have mercy on you if you get that reference.)
That means that I am now alone in world of warcraft except for.... HIM.
Bad enough he brought his flea bitten druid along on my heroic Arc run. (We had a tank... the dumbass druid was "dps") And we had a heroic fail. Goddamn... my mage needed that for 3 quests, and Melvin could care less that he blew the run.
Bad enough he still doesnt know how to arena.
But now Ima in a bind. A while back I was watching South Park. There was an episode where Santa gets captured by Iraqis... and Jesus has to go rescue him. There's a scene lifted outta Three Kings, where santa gets brutally tortured. And Ima laughing my ass off. And Ima thinking.. here I am, laughing at a scene where SANTA, of all people, is getting tortured... what the hell is wrong with me?
The there was this... which I found insanely funny.
Yeah... you can see where we're goin with this. Melvin got his. Bad. And Ima friend. So I should be supportive... but I can't be, cuz, well... it's Melvin.
Melvin and his brother have been told that they're no longer welcome on guild raids. NOT cuz of the idiot tank. But cuz of the the mages... the mages that both are so fond of... the mages with 30 spell hit and 13k life. All spell penetration and no +spell damage.
This hit them HARD. Iva been tellin em for months that they needed to work on raiding gear sets.. and both have been blowing me off. Now it bit them on the ass. You can do Kara in arena gear... but god help you in BT. They're fire mages without elemental precision. They have less than 50 spell hit. They have less than 900 spell damage, unbuffed. And they didn't understand that this freaking matters.
Melvin likes mocking me for caring where I am on damage meters. He laughs, and says his mage has more important things to do than damage... like sheeping things.
And now he has been relegated to the ranks of noobdom, by a guild he was tremendously impressed with.
His options? Go back the old guild, which almost has enough for a second kara group...
I shouldn't wish this on my worst enemy... but itsa sooo funny...
Ima goin straight to hell ain't I?
4 comments:
You mean the fjords he got an award for?
I guess it is bad that I recognized the dead parrot sketch the moment I was done reading pining for the fjords.
I guess I'm more curious as to where Melvin goes from here. At least it all finally caught up with him. Though I will disagree somewhat with that you can't use pvp gear in later raids. I'm not saying you can do it exclusively in PvP gear but a piece or two of it mixed in is not bad. For example the Hunter's Vengeful Gladiator's Waraxe is more then fine for PvE for quite a while with its good range of stats. Legacy only beasts it on AP and with Trollbane depending upon the gems used beats it in AP or Crit but not both at the same time.
you could come to a pve server or take me under your wing.... (but not in a seal on penguin way)
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