I wanna be famous!

"I lived, I loved, I saw boobies... what more can a man ask for?" -Harold

So I've gotten addicted to a show on cartoon network named Total Drama Island. It's just... evil. Itsa cartoon about a reality show...

"Sign these..."

"We already signed the insurance release forms...."

"No, these are organ donor forms... I wanna pitch the producers onna cannibalism challenge, and it would help if I could cut down costs by arranging for props before hand..."

And you sorry bastards owe me for the Melvin thing. AB tokens! Cough em up! These stories aint free!

I haven't seen this linked anywhere... but the people at Sluggy Freelance, who have been playin the game fer a while, are doin a big "A fellowship of my own damn self" wow satire...

My fave joke so far.. the original game race... "rose elves." The expansion race... "nude elves."

So anyway, my friend Andy, the math grad student algebra teacher.

College was pretty damn weird for me. I didn't do it till a little later in life, and hadta work full time while takin courses. This kinda left me out all the typical diversions... and dumped me into the circle of grad students. Who are all a buncha bitter bastards, for the most part.

Since I worked at a store near the cheaper apartments, I got to know a lotta em. Which helped me a lot, since they had tons of extremely useful advice on dealing with school. And they would introduce me to professors.

Now... one thing to keep in mind about college. It never freaking hurts to have the professor and the TA know yuir face.

Anyway... I had just decided to pick up a math minor... and found out that I needed credit for algebra to qualify. So, the summer before I started advanced calculus, I was stuck in an algebra class witha buncha 17 year olds. One problem... LSU had just toughened up their entrance requirements, so people who wouldnt qualify witha 2.5 gpa had to enroll in class the summer before the new reqs went into effect. That's right. All the people who would be technically too incompetent to get into college were gonna be takin the same class at the same time...

The preferred class was algebra. Ima still surprised none of the TA's offed themselves. And Andy.. well, Andy was losin it.

"Is this gonna be on the test?"

"It is now!"

So one fine day I strolled into the cages they laughingly called TA offices, and saw the quiz that Andy and company were puttin together. Now note... all the TA's found my situation hilarious. Cuz if anyone hated these kids more than them.. well, it was me. THEY just had to deal with em in the classroom. *I* had to deal with them after they had been binge drinking. Add to the fact that the garbage they put grads through makes my havin to take a BS entry level course pale into insignificance.

So... Andy was puttin together an algebra quiz on his board. I was lookin at it... and saw the bonus question.

"What was the cause of the trojan war?"

I asked Andy what the hell that had to do witha Algebra test... and I cherish his response as one of the wisest things I've ever heard...

"Well... if they know the math, they don't need the bonus. If they don't know the math... THEY'RE IN COLLEGE! THEY HAVE TO KNOW SOMETHING!"