Wednesday, September 26, 2007

PvP for fun and profit!

That's it, gnome. Pick that flower.

Sniff it.

Don't suspect that you're a dash away from sudden death.

Welcome to my world, you annoying little squishy. Welcome to the wide wide wonderful world of pain.


You want more fish? That lying cow of a resto druid SWORE your worms were gone! Fine. Here.

Dark lady. Can you close your mouth when you chew? Thats disgusting. And the noise. You'll scare the prey...

Doesn't taste right? I told you over and over... squeeze the lemon over it while it's still sizzling.

"Too much dill?" There is no such thing! This is how Bobby Flay makes HIS barbed trout! Cmon, 375 cooking. Don't even go there... "too much dill!" indeed...

Back to the gnome. Oh yeah, now you found a bush. Yeah, bushes are awesome. Much more interesting than the sudden and frightful fate rapidly approaching...

Few things funnier than one of those little feet sticking outta the mouth of a 800 pound carnivore. Cept maybe the girlish screams of a night elf running from a gazillion poison snakes....

Now, gnome, where were we?


Why bother? Why should I go outta my way to pwn this poor shorty? I mean, yeah, blizzard wants you dead. But what has blizzard done for me? Ima female orc. Worse dance moves in the game! Worst character design since Jar Jar. Female orcs should look like female kingons. Fangs, curves, and danger. Instead, we're like some inbred hillbilly stereotype.

"Gonna make you squeal like a dwarf! Squeal!" /deranged giggle

I mean, really... it almost looks like I'm drooling half the time. And my gear? Mail? Right. Looks just like the same damn leather crap I was wearing at 20 or 30. And not even cool leather. I mean, Ima beastmaster. I want the grizzly adams look! Something like this!

Ferretina! the weasel queen!

I mean, with a white rabbit trim. Old skool classic! Cuz fur is murder, and the necklace of elf ears ain't intimidating the alliance enough! But nuttin says hard core like a mink coat, choice of rappers, BM hunters and dangerous felons everywhere!

But no... all I get is some lameo leather/mail hybrid with twice the tard. I swear, all hunter gear is designed for dwarves! How else do you explain those friggin giger inspired spiky helms? Only if your goal is to erase dwarf ugly from the face of azeroth with a full helm! Could go leather... but all the cool leather helms are... eyepatches! What could be stupider than a marksman with no depth perception?

... anyhow...

yeah, I know why I'm gonna kill you gnome. Cuz blizz put a bounty on your undersized butt. You worth at least 20 honor, cutie pie! And I can turn that in for better, although equally lame looking gear.

So heads up! Its AV honor holiday, and the new anti-afk measures are up! Epic boots, bracers and gloves await! Melvin claims to average 30k honor per av weekend. True, he's a freak, but thats enough for at least 2 epics.

Turn the growl off, cat. We're goin in!


Zball said...

You made a Girl Genius reference. That, in and of itself, almost makes up for your hatred of all things gnome.

And is it wrong for me to be bouncing- around excited for the "obliteration" of the damage tax?

Dagashai said...


I've been reading all things Foglio since the first appearance of "What's New?" in Dragon magazine...

I dunno how hard core you are, but if you like Girl Genius... try this one...

Don't say I never did anything for you :)