Hand grenade pins in every line...

Regular readers of this blog know that every so often I hafta get into a flame war with Arms and Fury.

Dogs gotta bark, birds gotta sing... and I gotta yell FLAME ON!

Let me begin by pointing out that he is singlehandedly responsible for the worst Kara pugs I've ever been in.

Last week was a shining example. The old guild broke. Unbound is in a new guild, and Mabd and Maj are guildless.

The new guild tried to do Gruul's... and failed. A waste of 2 hours of my time.

Then A&F calls and asks if I'll heal Kara. Sure... I needs me some badgers fer a healing cloak.

Fight attumen. A&F decides to beat on midnight, instead of waiting fer attumen like a good little main tank. So when At spawns, down goes the other healer and Unbound gets to heal the entire fight.

We hada good paid of tanks... but the dps was miserable. 2 mages that couldn't dps their way outta paper bag, a hunter that couldn't trap, a priest that couldn't shackle....

3 wipes on Moroes later, the group breaks. A&F makes a snarky comment about one of the mages bein as bad as Melvin.

A&F does not understand the perversion of the natural order that is Melvin. The mage in question had barely 7k life, raid buffed. Ima sure her build was crap, and her gear was mispicked. Cmon... this is par for the course. Anyone can suck with bad gear and total ignorance.

Melvin's genius is that he can COMPLZFAILZ with GM level gear and 2 years of playing experience.

The difference was rammed home to A&F when he was asked to DPS fer Melvin and Company in Heroic MgT. Fer the last fight.

See... I gotta message from Melvin's bro... asking if I knew how to beat the second boss. They lost a dps due to excessive wipes. I said sure, logged out, looked up the fight, logged back in, and was told they found another dps, not to bother.

The new dps evidently bailed on them after a few wipes on last boss. So they asked A&F. Then booted him after four wipes because, in the words of Melvin, they needed ranged, not melee, dps.

A&F was quite perturbed, especially since he felt they needed someone who could kill the g*damned bird. Since Melvin's mage wasnt up to the task.

Anyway... thats Melvin. 12-15 wipes and still tryin the instance.

And thats A&F... still groupin with Melvin after all this time.

So now... the story A&F doan want me to tell.

We STILL havin problems in arena. My problem... A&F needs my shammy to keep herself alive, keep him alive, earth shock incoming heals, and help him DPS.

What does A&F have to do in these matches? Well, kinda just beat things with his mace.

I'm havin problems with the multitasking. The problem is... we're winning these damn long games. A&F wants them to be shorter. I kinda feel that shorter just means me dying faster.

We're havin problems with pets. Kill the huinter pet, game over for other side. Even if the hunter summons again... it comes back at half life and at reduced damage. And the hunter blows a massive chuck of mana while I getta chance to drink. A&F can't figure out how to catch the pet outta LOS of the healer, mostly because I'm always movin.

Vent would help a lot. I don't know why we're not usin it.

A&F accuses me, probably correctly, of kite vision. Vent would help coordinate a burn... but then he'll say something like.. I got two crits in a row! Why didnt you turn around and help me finish him?

Against lock/healer teams... yeah... me keepin an ES on healer would help. But we win these games naturally. It just takes time. The only thing that could really go wrong is for me to get chain feared/stunned and someone dying.

Then he compains about not being at full health when I die. My fault for not keepin Lifebloom and Renew on my action bar, I suppose. Or my choosin to try and fail to heal myself, rather than him, when *I'm* the one bein focused.

Mage/rogue is still bad. We ran into a BM Hunter/Rogue team that played the same, and they killed me in 7 seconds. I keep tellin A&F that it's suicide for me to stand in the open against a hunter... and hence I really cant help him dps them. He really seems morally opposed to playing the out of mana game strat. Its killing me.

Anyway... the story. We're fighting a mage/s priest. And I kite like a god. I keep em from catching me, locking me, and killing me for about 4 minutes. (I used trinket and NS twice.) But finally... I get frost nova'd... silenced, counterspelled, and killed.

Right after this, A&F finally kills the mage. The S Priest, outta mana, mounts up and flees to drink. A&F is at 40%.

Me: "Bandage!"
Him: "Shut up!"

He stands behind a pillar... I watch the priest's mana bar fill. I have no idea what A&F is doin. Then... after a pause... a casting bar...

"Crafting: Heavy Netherweave Bandage"
...
"First Aid"
...
Then the priest comes back and kills him.