Friday, January 25, 2008

Of any misery in the sound of the wind,

Well, hell.

BRK went and posted an amazing little non-wow story.

Now I may not have much... not uber wow smarts like BRK, or l33t pvp skills like Braids... but I got my pride. And my stories. And I'll be damned if I let a dwarf top me.

K... I worked at a C-Store... one of the most dangerous jobs in the country. Not bragging, just saying. However... even after 5 years... I was unprepared...

It was a regular friday party night. LSU was in session, football season was over, so the crowds were large but controllable. I was alone in the store and parked out in front were twin cop cars keepin an eye on 2k drunk teenagers. In comes a young man who enters the store and collapses on the floor, begging piteously for someone to save him. "They're after me!"

K... by this point in my life, I really, literally, had had people attacked by mobs in front of my store. I'd even let people into the store, locked the doors, and watched people try to break down the door with a concrete trash can. One of my co-workers, a 70 lb 50ish woman, had once blocked the doors with her body in one of the more memorable occasions... so when this crap happens, I get extreme...

I hopped out from behind the register, and rush to the doors to barricade them in the face of whatever was coming...

And it was nothing. Parking lot empty, more or less. Two cop cars still out there... about 3-400 teens across the street, but this wasn't unusual, and they weren't comin over to my direction...

So I look at Mr. "Help Me!'... and he screams again, and begs me to save him from the mob.

Now at this point... look people. I'm making a buck over minimum wage. I really, really, really am NOT BEING PAID for this crap. I ask Rick, who was hanging out as usual, to go get the cops. On the other side of my nice clean, empty of vicious mobs parking lot. Then the nice men in blue come into the store, and escort the unfortunate young person to safety...

All over right?

Well... three hours later, all the crowds are gone, Ima cleaning up, and into my store comes an angry 50ish man who proceeds to yell at me...

"My son came into this store, BEGGING FOR HIS LIFE, and you let a mob drag him outside and beat him! HE'S IN THE HOSPITAL NOW!"

I check my wallet... like $4. So if they sue... they ain't gettin much. As for criminal liability... not sure there was any.

While these thoughts are goin through my mind, the guy is goin on about what a POS I am, and how much a failure of a human being I revealed myself to be by not protecting his offspring.

I look out in the parking lot... my cop buddies are still out there.

I wait for the gentleman to pause for breath... and point out to the parking lot.

"What?"

I point again.

The guy for real, couldn't recognize that there were honest to god, true blue, police officers about 70' away. And that during this whole rant about how c-store clerks have a moral and legal obligation to defend the detrius of society, he couldn't recognize America's true defenders.

At this point I wonder if this was a trait the kid had inherited, cuz he woulda have to had run past the cop cars to get into the store, and "safety."

So the guy starts yelling at me, and I shut him up by slamming my mop on the counter and screaming back...

"Look in the parking lot, you dick! See the cops? They've been here ALL GODDAMN NIGHT. Anything that happened to yuir stupid kid happened in front of them! Now go bother them, cuz they have two things I doan... patience and pepper spray!"

Later I get the full story from my peeps in blue. The kid had done some weird homoerotic thing in front of a buncha frat kids at the bar across the street. Words were exchanged, and the kid fled in terror... with no one following. The cops dragged him outta my store, told him to get lost and not to come back... but couldn't MAKE him. So he decided to go back across the street... and vandalize cars in the bar's parking lot. In front of everyone.

Ya know... ya can't fix stupid.

5 comments:

sonvar said...

Yeah thats one stupid kid. And it seems he didn't fall too far from his the apple tree

Stupid Mage said...

/jaw drop

Anonymous said...

I saw Cloverfield

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Jeremy said...

I just put two and two together that you worked in a convenience store in Tigerland. I have the utmost respect for you, dear sir, and offer you condolences.