Which is the sound of the land

Fine. Story wars! And then here... You won't beat me, allies! FOR THE HORDE! (at least i think kirk plays blue side... who the hell can tell?)

Er... beforehand... any suggestions on where to get a new sig? My old place is down due to problems with armory...

Now then... itsa pretty well established concept that drinking and driving is a bad thing. The problem is... drinking is a bad thing. Itsa tried and true Dagashai precept that people are stupid. Itsa tried and true human precept that booze makes ya less clever. Put both these together, and ya get the extended corollary... stupid people + booze = mass n00bness.

K, ima workin late. I look out the front of the store, and I see headlights shining into my lot from the pizza joint next door. So... theresa car parked at the pizza joint, facing my c-store lot, shining its lights.

You have to understand... when you work night shift at a place that gets robbed, sure as rain, you get a bit techy. A car parked next door, but right next to my store is as close to "parked outta sight of the about to be shot c-store clerk" as you can get. So I noticed. And 15 min later, I noticed that it was still there, lights still shining. So I open the door to the store and take a quick look outside... and I hear it. An engine racing. I go all the way outside. Thersa driver slumped behind the wheel of the car, lights on, engine racing, cuz its in park and his foot has the pedal to the metal. And its been this way for some time...

So I call the cops. Cuz the way the guy is parked, if the car slips into gear, he'll prob crash into the front of the store.

The cops show, pull him outta the car. He was so drunk that he passed out after he got into the car and started it. Thankfully he never got it into gear. The cops told him to nap for a few hours, then get some coffee and get home. So he came into the store right before I left in the morning.

"You know, you really need to get it checked out. Running at full for that long in park can't have been good for the engine..."

"It's O.K. Itsa rental."

Part the second. The pizza delivery guys from the above mention pizza joint parked behind their store. There was a little access road for the apartment buildings and bars... so on a delivery, they'd drive behind the c-store and come out at the corner.

So one nice night, one of the pizza guys came in and said... "Dude, looks like someone got jacked on the side of your store!"

I went outside to look and, sure enough, next to the dumpster was a car, door open, keys in door, witha guy, half in, half out, head on the concrete, bleeding all over the place.

I call ems... they show. The next day, the guy comes through the store... it turns out he hadn't been mugged... he just slammed his head into the car trying to get in, and knocked himself out. The massive amount of booze helped as well...

"Why did you call the ambulance! Do you know how much they charged me?"

"Er... sir... do you have your car?"

"Yeah, there it is outside..."

"Do you have your wallet?"

"Yeah, right here..."

"Do you think you would have either of those if you'd been out on that street another 15 minutes, key in car door and wallet in hand, and you all helpless?"

He shut up then.

Ya see... its all about helping people....