Wednesday, January 30, 2008

That is blowing in the same bare place

K, listen up rugrats...

/nervouscough

Um... it's come to my attention that you are ill informed on some vital differences between us, and the NPC's.

I mean, really, haven't yuir parents talked to you about this already? Or school? The demo's have held congress fer two years, one would expect this to be taught in kindergarden... like they say, itsa health issue. We can't let you go out there unprepared...

/embarass

Oh man. How did I get roped into this? Oh yeah...

HIM.

And the post.

Cmon kids... doan lookit me with those wide eyes... creeps me out. Like this aint stressful enough on me. Alright... the pitch goes something like this.

"You are getting old enough to be undergoing new... experiences. You've just gotten talent points, and now your hearing the older kids talk about something mysterious and exotic called... instances.

Alright. It is PERFECTLY NATURAL to be curious at this age. And be warned. This conversation might confuse you. Or embarass you. Or exite you. Please, dark lady, doan let it excite you. If you get excited, there's probably something wrong with you. Ima sure they have a pill for that... they have a pill for everything these days...

Anyway. There comes a time ina toon's life when you find the company of other toons, of different classes (not that there's anything wrong with hanging with your own class! doan sue me, plz!) ... well, the company of other toons.... stimulating.

And one thing leads to another, from "let's kill this elite.." to "killing 25 of these goes so much faster with company" to "wow, yuir sword is so long and pointy... all I have are these fireballs..."

And then SOMEONE starts talking about Ragefire Chasm, or Dead Mines. Sometimes itsa new "friend." Sometimes its one of those quest givers that had been helpin ya out all along, only to tell ya this time, "bring friends."

OK. This is the way life works kiddies. By the time your all growed up, you have grouped with all sorts of peeps. Some helpful and nice, and end up on yuir friends list, some not so nice, and leave ya crying alone in yuir room after a ninja roll. "Was it me? I did everything they asked of me... maybe I was too easy!"

Now, some people hold that casual grouping is the best way to develop a self-confident toon. These people are wildly ignorant about the dangers, emotional and otherwise, that come from...

/hushvoice

Pugging.

I mean, Ima talking keyloggers, viruses, bad talent builds, and high repair costs. Its much better to take your time, and wait for the right players. Sure, sometimes this means you get things done a little later than other, sluttier, toons. But just look at some of these "well developed" puggers. Hanging out in back alleys, looking for some old pervo to provide "just another SM run."

No. Keep yuir self respect.

So anyway... what you need to know. When ya look for toons to group with, you gonna need certain people to play certain roles. And the most important of these is... healing.

/embarass

I mean, really, can't yuir grandpoppy BRK give this lecture?

What was that Bobby? Yeah, he does smell funny... hey, its not his fault. Dwarves never really got into the habit of bathing... so he never saw the need to bathe the pet regularly. Anda cat starts to smell funky about a week after a major blood bath. Anyway, he's yuir elder and you will respect him! Cept when he gets all drooly and talks about that whole air force thingy.

Alright. There are four classes in WoW that can heal. Priest, Druid, Shaman, and Paladin.

No, Bobby... Warlocks can't heal. No, I doan care that they usually lead BG's in healing. Thassa something else... tho I remember one time when I was... er... watching yuir Aunt Braids during one of her crazier, more experimentive phases...

/happythoughts

I wonder if she still has that wildheart set?

Anyway...

There are, however, only two healing classes. Thats right... Priests and Druids.

Whats the difference between a class that can heal and a healing class? Well, lookit the post again. Thassa heal offa Balance build druid. Unbound, the nifty enhance shammy, crits on heals for about 3200. The tree hugger is even 6 levels lower than Unbound. And has same +heal. Unbound even has more points in the resto tree than lifebloom bunny. Doan matter. Outclassed, healing wise.

True, the druid spell is longer cast time. But you need to realize... Druids are a HEALING class. Like priests, it doan matter where the talent points are... they can heal anything short of an end game instance with the right gear.

Shammies and pallies are NOT healing classes. Their heals are painfully weak, mana inefficient, and extremely primitive. A druid or priest can heal you up and down, over and over. Oh man... they heal you so good...

/happythoughts

Shammies and pallies need talent points in the right tree to keep up. And somewhere around the point where you answer "yes" to the question "are you holy/resto?" are the talents that do something like...

5/5 Yuir heals no longer suck. Congrats! Isn't this much better than doin damage?

This is not so say that shammies and pallies can't play healing roles. A shammy or pally can keep a tank up for a goodly time if the main healer goes down... but doan count on the other party members living. Chain heal without the talent points is like a hunter pet that can't learn growl. Sooner or later, you forget why it's there...

Anyway.. that's the lecture. Ifn ya get desperate enough to press an enhance shammy or ret pally into a healing role... remember... they'll be a bit uncomfortable. Go slow. Use elixirs.

Oh, and safety words are always useful.

2 comments:

ArmsandFury said...

LMFAO

/bow
/cheer

Love the post... read it twice. But you failed to mention the first response to my telling you of the crit heal. I believe it was something along the lines of "Right, like you got a 5k crit. Got a screen shot?"

Inphidel said...

Great post, wish you had posted 20 patches ago, I popped my cherry on a Healing Wave.